Monday, November 17, 2008
You Know You Love Me...
An nice little musical look at my inner thoughts, feelings, and all the other shit that's going on inside my head right now.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
iTunes Roulette
It's our favorite game!!! Round 2 of iTunes Roulette. Here we go.....
1. Bottle It Up - Sara Bareilles
I love love love her! And this song is awesome. It isn't my favorite of hers, but I still love it. So catchy and fun. And in my opinion, better than Love Song.
2. Apologies - Grace Potter and the Nocturnals
What a sad song, but so beautiful. If you don't know Grace Potter I highly recommend that you not only download this song, but many of her others as well.
3. Wherever You Will Go - The Calling
I know, I know. It's such a cheesy song, but I can't help but love it. And some of their lesser known stuff is really great.
4. You've Got To Hide Your Love Away - Eddie Vedder
Undoubtedly, the best Beatles cover ever. Period.
5. Under My Tree - N'Sync
Okay, you caught me, I love the N'Sync Christmas album and am currently listening to it on rotation. And in all honesty, this is probably on of my favorite songs from it.
6. West Side Story - LFO
Once again, you caught me. I secretly (well not so secretly anymore) love this song. And I know you do too.
7. Sleigh Ride - Harry Connick Jr.
So I'm listening to a lot of Christmas music now. I know it's not even Thanksgiving yet, but for some reason I'm just in that holiday mood.
8. Outrageous - Britney Spears
Yes, she is crazy, but she's also fierce as fuck. So it evens out the playing field in my book.
9. Then He Kissed Me - The Crystals
Cute little Doo Wop girl group song. I think this summer I downloaded every single song I could find by the Ronnettes, Crystals, Chiffons, and Shirelles because of Little Shop.
10. ABC - The Jackson Five
Need I explain? It is a song that everyone should be required to have in their iTunes library.
1. Bottle It Up - Sara Bareilles
I love love love her! And this song is awesome. It isn't my favorite of hers, but I still love it. So catchy and fun. And in my opinion, better than Love Song.
2. Apologies - Grace Potter and the Nocturnals
What a sad song, but so beautiful. If you don't know Grace Potter I highly recommend that you not only download this song, but many of her others as well.
3. Wherever You Will Go - The Calling
I know, I know. It's such a cheesy song, but I can't help but love it. And some of their lesser known stuff is really great.
4. You've Got To Hide Your Love Away - Eddie Vedder
Undoubtedly, the best Beatles cover ever. Period.
5. Under My Tree - N'Sync
Okay, you caught me, I love the N'Sync Christmas album and am currently listening to it on rotation. And in all honesty, this is probably on of my favorite songs from it.
6. West Side Story - LFO
Once again, you caught me. I secretly (well not so secretly anymore) love this song. And I know you do too.
7. Sleigh Ride - Harry Connick Jr.
So I'm listening to a lot of Christmas music now. I know it's not even Thanksgiving yet, but for some reason I'm just in that holiday mood.
8. Outrageous - Britney Spears
Yes, she is crazy, but she's also fierce as fuck. So it evens out the playing field in my book.
9. Then He Kissed Me - The Crystals
Cute little Doo Wop girl group song. I think this summer I downloaded every single song I could find by the Ronnettes, Crystals, Chiffons, and Shirelles because of Little Shop.
10. ABC - The Jackson Five
Need I explain? It is a song that everyone should be required to have in their iTunes library.
Friday, October 31, 2008
"Pillowpants is her pussy troll"
Happy Halloween!!!
Is it just me or is this year going ridiculously fast? I mean, tomorrow it will be November. When the hell did that happen? Anyways...onto a better topic.
So I've been on another one of my huge Kevin Smith kicks. I need to buy all of his movies. And by all of them I mean the following:
Clerks
Mallrats
Chasing Amy
Dogma
Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back
Clerks II
...and Clerks the animated series too. In the past few days, I've watched Clerks twice, Dogma twice, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back once, and Clerks II four times. I seriously can't get tired of these movies. They are so god damn funny and sometimes, they're even kind of beautiful. Like at the end of Clerks II in the jail. The way Randal talks to Dante is amazing. I absolutely love it. That's something that really stands out about Kevin Smith's writing though. He is hilarious and the stuff he writes for laughs is disgusting and inappropriate (part of the reason why it's so wonderful), but then he'll throw in a really sentimental and touching moment that just fits so perfectly despite the mood of the rest of the movie. He writes great comedies with such heart, but not in a cheesy way.
God I wish I was part of the View Askewniverse! Anyways, I think that's it for today.
Today's video? The funniest scene from a wonderful movie. And if you haven't seen it yet, you need to.
NOW!
Is it just me or is this year going ridiculously fast? I mean, tomorrow it will be November. When the hell did that happen? Anyways...onto a better topic.
So I've been on another one of my huge Kevin Smith kicks. I need to buy all of his movies. And by all of them I mean the following:
Clerks
Mallrats
Chasing Amy
Dogma
Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back
Clerks II
...and Clerks the animated series too. In the past few days, I've watched Clerks twice, Dogma twice, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back once, and Clerks II four times. I seriously can't get tired of these movies. They are so god damn funny and sometimes, they're even kind of beautiful. Like at the end of Clerks II in the jail. The way Randal talks to Dante is amazing. I absolutely love it. That's something that really stands out about Kevin Smith's writing though. He is hilarious and the stuff he writes for laughs is disgusting and inappropriate (part of the reason why it's so wonderful), but then he'll throw in a really sentimental and touching moment that just fits so perfectly despite the mood of the rest of the movie. He writes great comedies with such heart, but not in a cheesy way.
God I wish I was part of the View Askewniverse! Anyways, I think that's it for today.
Today's video? The funniest scene from a wonderful movie. And if you haven't seen it yet, you need to.
NOW!
Friday, October 24, 2008
Everything
I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it's going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby and you've never met anyone
Who is as negative as I am sometimes
I am the wisest woman you've ever met.
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected.
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen
And you've never met anyone
Who's as positive as I am sometimes.
You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here
I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting
And you've never met anyone as,
As closed down as I am sometimes.
You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here
What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go
I'm the funniest woman that you've ever known
I'm the dullest woman that you've ever known
I'm the most gorgeous woman that you've ever known
And you've never met anyone
Who is as everything as I am sometimes
You see everything (you see everything), you see every part (you see every part )
You see all my light (you see all my light) and you love my dark (and you love my dark )
You dig everything (you dig everything) of which I'm ashamed (of which I'm ashamed)
There's not anything (there's not anything) to which you can't relate (to which you can't relate)
And you're still here
(You see everything, you see every part)
And you're still here
(You see all my light and you love my dark)
And you're still here
(You dig everything of which I'm ashamed)
(There's not anything to which you can't relate)
And you're still here...
This is what I'm looking for...not yet, but evetually. I know it might not happen and that it's asking a lot, but this song really is me. I mean, the first line alone, "I can be an asshole of the grandest kind"? For those of you who know me well you know that's true. I really love this song lately.
Everything - Alanis Morrisette
I can withhold like it's going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby and you've never met anyone
Who is as negative as I am sometimes
I am the wisest woman you've ever met.
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected.
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen
And you've never met anyone
Who's as positive as I am sometimes.
You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here
I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting
And you've never met anyone as,
As closed down as I am sometimes.
You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here
What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go
I'm the funniest woman that you've ever known
I'm the dullest woman that you've ever known
I'm the most gorgeous woman that you've ever known
And you've never met anyone
Who is as everything as I am sometimes
You see everything (you see everything), you see every part (you see every part )
You see all my light (you see all my light) and you love my dark (and you love my dark )
You dig everything (you dig everything) of which I'm ashamed (of which I'm ashamed)
There's not anything (there's not anything) to which you can't relate (to which you can't relate)
And you're still here
(You see everything, you see every part)
And you're still here
(You see all my light and you love my dark)
And you're still here
(You dig everything of which I'm ashamed)
(There's not anything to which you can't relate)
And you're still here...
This is what I'm looking for...not yet, but evetually. I know it might not happen and that it's asking a lot, but this song really is me. I mean, the first line alone, "I can be an asshole of the grandest kind"? For those of you who know me well you know that's true. I really love this song lately.
Everything - Alanis Morrisette
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
There's Nothing Like You And I
Okay, please still comment about the soundtracks, but here's a little something I found that I wanted to fill out.
Ten things you wish you could say to ten different people...
10. I'm sorry I call you at the most inappropriate times. I'm sorry that I can't seem to stop thinking about you subconsciously. I wish I had made different decisions and taken a chance instead of being terrified of ruining our friendship because our friendship ended up fading away anyways. I'll admit, I was jealous of every single girl you dated. And not because I was protective or some bull shit like that. It's too bad that things will never get sorted out. I wish they could.
9. Why did you treat me so horribly? I was always there for you through absolutely everything. I was the one who took care of you at parties when other people would leave you on the bathroom floor or say they weren't your "babysitter". I deserved better and I hope you know that.
8. I miss you. I miss you so much. I can't even express my feelings for you in words. All I know is that you've been there for me through so much and I couldn't ask for more from anyone. I miss talking all the time. I hate that we haven't seen each other in a year now. I hate that we might not ever see each other again because who really knows?
7. I don't know what happened to us. We used to be best friends. We did everything together and always talked. Then out of nowhere we just stopped talking. Stopped hanging out. It hurts that I'm telling the truth right now and I really wish I wasn't.
6. Sometimes I feel like you only want to be my friend when I can give you something. Or when you want to get close to someone that I'm extremely close to. We don't ever talk anymore and we used to have hour long conversations nightly. I miss that, and I miss our friendship. I hope you love the city and that you're thriving. And I hope even more that we can somehow go back to what we used to be.
5. You made me feel lonely. I included you in every single thing I did. No matter what, I always invited you. But you never invited me to anything. It was like you wanted to push me away and that really hurts because I was there for you through so much. But there's nothing we can change now.
4. We grew apart. It was bound to happen, but it still makes me sad to think about it. We were so close. I never thought a guy could really come between two friends like that. But you seem genuinely happy and I am happy for you. I wish both of you the best and the happiest ending anyone could ask for.
3. You really are my best friend. We fought all the time when I was little, but the minute you went to college things changed. We started to get closer. Then you moved out just before the start of my freshman year of high school. I was lost without my big sister there, but it still brought us even closer. And I expect you to visit me as soon as an opportunity presents itself.
2. I barely know you. But I cannot believe just how well we get along. I love spending time with you and I can see that we're going to be great friends. I wish we saw each other more though, you know?
1. I always liked you. Even though you were dating one of my good friends the entire time, I liked you. You made me get butterflies in my stomach. Being around you, thinking about something you said, all of that made me blush. And I know you liked me too. If you didn't then you sure acted like you did. I've since gotten over those feelings, but I never told you and I wish I had. Not even while I still had them, just sometime.
Nine things about yourself:
9. I'm a lot sadder than I seem.
8. I love living in a city.
7. I am not as talkative and loud as I used to be.
6. Sixth grade changed my life and not for the better.
5. I know that I will one day teach myself to play both guitar and piano.
4. I only have one real regret.
3. Other than the above statement, I don't believe in regrets.
2. I am trying to be a positive person.
1. I realized just how lonely I was when I was still in Harrisburg. Even when I had "friends".
Eight ways to win my heart:
8. I know this sounds cheesy, but you must love dogs.
7. Care about the world.
6. DO NOT let people walk all over you. And don't be afraid to stand up for yourself.
5. Be able to sustain an intelligent conversation.
4. But be able to act like a kid too.
3. Make me laugh. And I mean really laugh.
2. Love Spiderman.
1. At least have an appreciation for all art forms; music, visual, theatre, fashion, culinary...I really do mean all art forms.
Seven things that cross your mind a lot:
7. I wish things had been different and I hadn't been so afraid.
6. I wish I had chosen the reunion instead this summer.
5. Am I good enough?
4. Am I pretty?
3. Am I thin enough?
2. Why am I always "one of the boys"?
1. I wish I was in New York or Paris.
Six things you do before you go to sleep:
6. Facebook
5. Pajamas
4. Whitestrips
3. Wash my face
2. Brush my teeth
1. Listen to music
Five people that mean a lot at the moment:(Now this is just the first five people who pop into my head, so don't be surprised or offended. And they're in no specific order)
5. Katie
4. Rita
3. Kevin H.
2. Kevin W.
1. Me, for once
Four things you are wearing:
4. Black boots
3. Skinny jeans from Old Navy
2. An all black tuxedo style shirt
1. A black and grey vest
Three songs that you listen to often:
3. When Your Mind's Made Up - Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova.
2. Can't Go Back Now - The Weepies
1. Nothing Like You And I - The Perishers
Two things you want to do before you die:
2. Have success in the field I've always dreamed of
1. Be happy again
One confession:
I'm not as confidant as most people assume I am.
Ten things you wish you could say to ten different people...
10. I'm sorry I call you at the most inappropriate times. I'm sorry that I can't seem to stop thinking about you subconsciously. I wish I had made different decisions and taken a chance instead of being terrified of ruining our friendship because our friendship ended up fading away anyways. I'll admit, I was jealous of every single girl you dated. And not because I was protective or some bull shit like that. It's too bad that things will never get sorted out. I wish they could.
9. Why did you treat me so horribly? I was always there for you through absolutely everything. I was the one who took care of you at parties when other people would leave you on the bathroom floor or say they weren't your "babysitter". I deserved better and I hope you know that.
8. I miss you. I miss you so much. I can't even express my feelings for you in words. All I know is that you've been there for me through so much and I couldn't ask for more from anyone. I miss talking all the time. I hate that we haven't seen each other in a year now. I hate that we might not ever see each other again because who really knows?
7. I don't know what happened to us. We used to be best friends. We did everything together and always talked. Then out of nowhere we just stopped talking. Stopped hanging out. It hurts that I'm telling the truth right now and I really wish I wasn't.
6. Sometimes I feel like you only want to be my friend when I can give you something. Or when you want to get close to someone that I'm extremely close to. We don't ever talk anymore and we used to have hour long conversations nightly. I miss that, and I miss our friendship. I hope you love the city and that you're thriving. And I hope even more that we can somehow go back to what we used to be.
5. You made me feel lonely. I included you in every single thing I did. No matter what, I always invited you. But you never invited me to anything. It was like you wanted to push me away and that really hurts because I was there for you through so much. But there's nothing we can change now.
4. We grew apart. It was bound to happen, but it still makes me sad to think about it. We were so close. I never thought a guy could really come between two friends like that. But you seem genuinely happy and I am happy for you. I wish both of you the best and the happiest ending anyone could ask for.
3. You really are my best friend. We fought all the time when I was little, but the minute you went to college things changed. We started to get closer. Then you moved out just before the start of my freshman year of high school. I was lost without my big sister there, but it still brought us even closer. And I expect you to visit me as soon as an opportunity presents itself.
2. I barely know you. But I cannot believe just how well we get along. I love spending time with you and I can see that we're going to be great friends. I wish we saw each other more though, you know?
1. I always liked you. Even though you were dating one of my good friends the entire time, I liked you. You made me get butterflies in my stomach. Being around you, thinking about something you said, all of that made me blush. And I know you liked me too. If you didn't then you sure acted like you did. I've since gotten over those feelings, but I never told you and I wish I had. Not even while I still had them, just sometime.
Nine things about yourself:
9. I'm a lot sadder than I seem.
8. I love living in a city.
7. I am not as talkative and loud as I used to be.
6. Sixth grade changed my life and not for the better.
5. I know that I will one day teach myself to play both guitar and piano.
4. I only have one real regret.
3. Other than the above statement, I don't believe in regrets.
2. I am trying to be a positive person.
1. I realized just how lonely I was when I was still in Harrisburg. Even when I had "friends".
Eight ways to win my heart:
8. I know this sounds cheesy, but you must love dogs.
7. Care about the world.
6. DO NOT let people walk all over you. And don't be afraid to stand up for yourself.
5. Be able to sustain an intelligent conversation.
4. But be able to act like a kid too.
3. Make me laugh. And I mean really laugh.
2. Love Spiderman.
1. At least have an appreciation for all art forms; music, visual, theatre, fashion, culinary...I really do mean all art forms.
Seven things that cross your mind a lot:
7. I wish things had been different and I hadn't been so afraid.
6. I wish I had chosen the reunion instead this summer.
5. Am I good enough?
4. Am I pretty?
3. Am I thin enough?
2. Why am I always "one of the boys"?
1. I wish I was in New York or Paris.
Six things you do before you go to sleep:
6. Facebook
5. Pajamas
4. Whitestrips
3. Wash my face
2. Brush my teeth
1. Listen to music
Five people that mean a lot at the moment:(Now this is just the first five people who pop into my head, so don't be surprised or offended. And they're in no specific order)
5. Katie
4. Rita
3. Kevin H.
2. Kevin W.
1. Me, for once
Four things you are wearing:
4. Black boots
3. Skinny jeans from Old Navy
2. An all black tuxedo style shirt
1. A black and grey vest
Three songs that you listen to often:
3. When Your Mind's Made Up - Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova.
2. Can't Go Back Now - The Weepies
1. Nothing Like You And I - The Perishers
Two things you want to do before you die:
2. Have success in the field I've always dreamed of
1. Be happy again
One confession:
I'm not as confidant as most people assume I am.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Girdy Birdy Babe, Girdy Bird
Wow it has been quite a while hasn't it? And I just talked about how well I was keeping up. I guess that's Can-Can for you. And for the record, I want to take back all my bitching, yes I have to work long hours, and yes I have to do a lot, but I'm loving every second of it. I love the cast, and even though I don't really like the show itself, I love watching the production every night because it is really wonderful. If you haven't seen it and you the opportunity presents itself, then I insist you haul ass to the Pittsburgh Playhouse and buy a ticket.
Anyways, onto the next topic. I promised you a soundtrack in the last post and it turns out that the process of making a soundtrack and putting songs in order is a lot harder and more time consuming than I thought it would be, so I'm sorry to say, but I'll be letting you down. If you guys want to make your own 'soundtracks' and posted them in the comments section I will gladly post them, along with my own, in the next post. We'll see how well this works out though.
I'm headed to bed because I have to get up at 8 tomorrow. I'll leave you all with a video, but sadly once again, no song.
It's hard to find, but you should see the whole movie
Anyways, onto the next topic. I promised you a soundtrack in the last post and it turns out that the process of making a soundtrack and putting songs in order is a lot harder and more time consuming than I thought it would be, so I'm sorry to say, but I'll be letting you down. If you guys want to make your own 'soundtracks' and posted them in the comments section I will gladly post them, along with my own, in the next post. We'll see how well this works out though.
I'm headed to bed because I have to get up at 8 tomorrow. I'll leave you all with a video, but sadly once again, no song.
It's hard to find, but you should see the whole movie
Thursday, October 2, 2008
I Wish That I Could See You Soon
Wow, I have been keeping this blog up a lot more than I ever imagined I would...and I bet people aren't even reading it. But that doesn't even matter, because this is like free therapy for me. As you can tell I usually tie in the title right away, but I have yet to do so. Well, that's because in all honesty the title has nothing to do with the entry, because the entry isn't actually about anything. Let me explain the title though.
I was listening to the song of the same title by Herman Dune. He's this awesome musician who looks a lot like Santino Rice. A good friend of mine introduced me to him by sending me this video.
He told me that I would love the video, and I must say he was very right. Isn't it great?
So now to a completely different topic. As I was writing this and listening to my iTunes Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Tuesday's Gone" came on. It made me think of that last scene in Dazed & Confused where everybody's left the party and people are saying goodbye. Which lead me to think about soundtracks. Richard Linklater's soundtrack for this movie is top choice, but I must say no one can top my personal favorite, Cameron Crowe. He knows how to put a song to a scene like no other. In my opinion, the most perfect placement of a song into a movie is on the bus in Almost Famous right after the band has had one of their many falling outs and they've finally found Russell Hammond who is recovering from a long night of beer and acid. The tension in the air is unbelievable while "Tiny Dancer" by Elton John plays. A little while after the song has begun, their bassist, Larry begins to sing along eventually prompting the entire bus to join in on the song and thus getting rid of the tense atmosphere for at least a short while. Perfect.
I don't have a script or anything, but I would love to put together a soundtrack for something. Actually, you know what, I think I might just do that. But that'll be for next time. This pretty much works by me hitting next and letting the shuffle on my iTunes take care of it. I'll call it:
Untitled [the original name for Almost Famous by the way. and i don't mean it was the working title.]
No song today...sorry :(
I was listening to the song of the same title by Herman Dune. He's this awesome musician who looks a lot like Santino Rice. A good friend of mine introduced me to him by sending me this video.
He told me that I would love the video, and I must say he was very right. Isn't it great?
So now to a completely different topic. As I was writing this and listening to my iTunes Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Tuesday's Gone" came on. It made me think of that last scene in Dazed & Confused where everybody's left the party and people are saying goodbye. Which lead me to think about soundtracks. Richard Linklater's soundtrack for this movie is top choice, but I must say no one can top my personal favorite, Cameron Crowe. He knows how to put a song to a scene like no other. In my opinion, the most perfect placement of a song into a movie is on the bus in Almost Famous right after the band has had one of their many falling outs and they've finally found Russell Hammond who is recovering from a long night of beer and acid. The tension in the air is unbelievable while "Tiny Dancer" by Elton John plays. A little while after the song has begun, their bassist, Larry begins to sing along eventually prompting the entire bus to join in on the song and thus getting rid of the tense atmosphere for at least a short while. Perfect.
I don't have a script or anything, but I would love to put together a soundtrack for something. Actually, you know what, I think I might just do that. But that'll be for next time. This pretty much works by me hitting next and letting the shuffle on my iTunes take care of it. I'll call it:
Untitled [the original name for Almost Famous by the way. and i don't mean it was the working title.]
No song today...sorry :(
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Sleepless in Downtown Pittsburgh and Sometimes Oakland
Not as catchy as Sleepless in Seattle, that's for sure. I've always been a night person, but since I've been in Pittsburgh I seem to have lost the ability to sleep at night. I never go to sleep earlier than twelve thirty. And that's an early night for me now. But I do, however, take long ass naps every chance I get. I really don't think that's the problem because it isn't like I'm not tired. I'm just not sleeping. I don't think I can. Lots of things cross my mind while I'm busy not sleeping though. Some things I don't think of a lot, some I think of all the time but never so in depth, some I've never thought of at all.
It seems that this will be an even more regular occurrence from now on though. I had my first meeting for Can-Can today. I'm on deck for crew. I really don't want to have to move anything mainly because I've seen the set and it isn't a good idea to attempt to have me move anything they've built. But other than that my job is marking things with glow tape and sweeping/mopping the floor. When I told Michael Rupert I would sweep the floors for him during Parade, I didn't think that I'd actually be doing that. Especially for another show that, in my mind, is rather minuscule compared to Parade. At least I like most of the people I get to crew with. It's a pretty chill group with a few exceptions.
Something else I discovered today that is just absolutely wonderful, is that I will honestly have no life. Even this Saturday afternoon, when they are doing the GOD DAMN SITZ PROBE we have to be there. For those of you who aren't familiar with the term, it's where the whole cast sits in chairs and sings through the show with the full orchestra. Which means I get to spend four mother fucking hours listening to the piece of shit. I'm sure the cast is wonderful and I do love Cole Porter, but Can-Can, seriously? This is the biggest load of bull he's ever written. You want to do Cole Porter? Do something good like Kiss Me Kate or Anything Goes, not Can-Can. I don't like the show, can you tell?
Anyways, I shouldn't be complaining. I'm assuming that my job is going to be relatively easy. I just wish that I didn't have rehearsals till 11:30 every night. I've been pretty positive here so I'm going to do my best to not get snippy with any people. I know I'll be running on little sleep, but I can control my temper, I know it. I just never liked anyone at home so I didn't feel the need to because they also chose to be so nasty to me, even without the excuse of lack of sleep. I'm changing here, for the better I think. Even when something upsets me I keep my mouth shut. I let it out here instead. Or, if it's particularly bad, I talk to the person privately about it and straighten things out without the inconvenience of yelling. Though sometimes I would really like to yell.
Specifically at one person, but it isn't my place. It doesn't involve me, and seeing the people it does involve stay so calm, grounded, and positive I just know that I would make a fool of myself and allow that person to look like the innocent one, which they most definitely are not. It was situations like this where I used to lose faith in humanity, but that's because I never saw the way a mature person handled the situation. Even with adults. But things have changed. My out look on life has changed. My attitude has changed. The changes are small, but they are there and they're slowly getting bigger.
The only problem seems to be the program. I feel like a genius in the academic classes and while I like feeling smart, I would much rather feel challenged. Just like in almost all of my COPA oriented classes. I wish I felt challenged, not bored. I love Stage Make-Up and I love Voice and Speech. Movement is nice, but it's not the method I grew to love and after weeks of trying to embrace it I've come to terms that it's just not for me. None the less, I'll continue trying throughout the semester because that's all my teacher asks. Singing for Actors has gotten better. I don't feel hated anymore at least. All in all, it's an okay course, but once again I'm not learning anything. I did more advanced things in my private voice lessons at home. English bores me out of my mind. I don't even want to talk about why any more than I already have. I just don't get the point of the class right now because half of the time my teacher goes off on tangents and doesn't even connect them to class. But my worst class is the one class I thought I'd love - Acting. I don't learn from games, I don't learn from the teacher seeing if I can take direction, I don't learn for the teacher rejecting every single idea that's not what she thinks. She doesn't say something like 'Oh that's one way of looking at it, but there's also this.' She just says, 'Oh, okay, no that's completely wrong. Can someone tell me the correct answer?' As someone pointed out last night when we were talking after class, acting is an observing art. Which means that it's an art that can have several different answers to its many questions, but of course I got stuck with the one teacher who doesn't believe that. And of course it doesn't help that she gives no constructive criticism. I wish things were different, but I'm not growing at all in that class. Maybe if I beging to learn more in my movement and singing classes I'll just ask for a different Acting professor instead of considering transfering. But who knows how things will play out. For the moment I'm keeping an open mind and an open heart. Hopefully things will work out for the best.
Enjoy today's selections. I'm not really sure just why I picked these, but I do know they're great songs and I'm pretty sure you'll love them, specifically The Perishers song. They might just be one of my new favorite bands.
I Know You Love Me - The Smoking Popes
What We Once Had - The Perishers
It seems that this will be an even more regular occurrence from now on though. I had my first meeting for Can-Can today. I'm on deck for crew. I really don't want to have to move anything mainly because I've seen the set and it isn't a good idea to attempt to have me move anything they've built. But other than that my job is marking things with glow tape and sweeping/mopping the floor. When I told Michael Rupert I would sweep the floors for him during Parade, I didn't think that I'd actually be doing that. Especially for another show that, in my mind, is rather minuscule compared to Parade. At least I like most of the people I get to crew with. It's a pretty chill group with a few exceptions.
Something else I discovered today that is just absolutely wonderful, is that I will honestly have no life. Even this Saturday afternoon, when they are doing the GOD DAMN SITZ PROBE we have to be there. For those of you who aren't familiar with the term, it's where the whole cast sits in chairs and sings through the show with the full orchestra. Which means I get to spend four mother fucking hours listening to the piece of shit. I'm sure the cast is wonderful and I do love Cole Porter, but Can-Can, seriously? This is the biggest load of bull he's ever written. You want to do Cole Porter? Do something good like Kiss Me Kate or Anything Goes, not Can-Can. I don't like the show, can you tell?
Anyways, I shouldn't be complaining. I'm assuming that my job is going to be relatively easy. I just wish that I didn't have rehearsals till 11:30 every night. I've been pretty positive here so I'm going to do my best to not get snippy with any people. I know I'll be running on little sleep, but I can control my temper, I know it. I just never liked anyone at home so I didn't feel the need to because they also chose to be so nasty to me, even without the excuse of lack of sleep. I'm changing here, for the better I think. Even when something upsets me I keep my mouth shut. I let it out here instead. Or, if it's particularly bad, I talk to the person privately about it and straighten things out without the inconvenience of yelling. Though sometimes I would really like to yell.
Specifically at one person, but it isn't my place. It doesn't involve me, and seeing the people it does involve stay so calm, grounded, and positive I just know that I would make a fool of myself and allow that person to look like the innocent one, which they most definitely are not. It was situations like this where I used to lose faith in humanity, but that's because I never saw the way a mature person handled the situation. Even with adults. But things have changed. My out look on life has changed. My attitude has changed. The changes are small, but they are there and they're slowly getting bigger.
The only problem seems to be the program. I feel like a genius in the academic classes and while I like feeling smart, I would much rather feel challenged. Just like in almost all of my COPA oriented classes. I wish I felt challenged, not bored. I love Stage Make-Up and I love Voice and Speech. Movement is nice, but it's not the method I grew to love and after weeks of trying to embrace it I've come to terms that it's just not for me. None the less, I'll continue trying throughout the semester because that's all my teacher asks. Singing for Actors has gotten better. I don't feel hated anymore at least. All in all, it's an okay course, but once again I'm not learning anything. I did more advanced things in my private voice lessons at home. English bores me out of my mind. I don't even want to talk about why any more than I already have. I just don't get the point of the class right now because half of the time my teacher goes off on tangents and doesn't even connect them to class. But my worst class is the one class I thought I'd love - Acting. I don't learn from games, I don't learn from the teacher seeing if I can take direction, I don't learn for the teacher rejecting every single idea that's not what she thinks. She doesn't say something like 'Oh that's one way of looking at it, but there's also this.' She just says, 'Oh, okay, no that's completely wrong. Can someone tell me the correct answer?' As someone pointed out last night when we were talking after class, acting is an observing art. Which means that it's an art that can have several different answers to its many questions, but of course I got stuck with the one teacher who doesn't believe that. And of course it doesn't help that she gives no constructive criticism. I wish things were different, but I'm not growing at all in that class. Maybe if I beging to learn more in my movement and singing classes I'll just ask for a different Acting professor instead of considering transfering. But who knows how things will play out. For the moment I'm keeping an open mind and an open heart. Hopefully things will work out for the best.
Enjoy today's selections. I'm not really sure just why I picked these, but I do know they're great songs and I'm pretty sure you'll love them, specifically The Perishers song. They might just be one of my new favorite bands.
I Know You Love Me - The Smoking Popes
What We Once Had - The Perishers
Monday, September 29, 2008
Ville magnifique
Is it wrong to want to live in a place this beautiful all year round? I know it may not be the best place for theatre, but what a gorgeous city. I would love to at least study abroad for a semester there. Of course, first I'd need to save money for it, but if anyone who knows the ins and outs of studying abroad could let me know about it I would love to pick your brain. Seriously.
I never really had a thing for Paris, but I have always had a thing for Europe. Recently though, I've been looking into my school's study abroad program and Paris seems to house the school that I would most likely go to. Strange since London is the much more of a theatre city, but I don't care any more. Yes, I've always realized through photography that Paris is beautiful, but I never knew just how beautiful it was/is.
Pure beauty....
Quelqu'un m'a dit - Carla Bruni
Saturday, September 27, 2008
iTunes Roulette
Alright so I've got a new game to play....I'll do it let's say, once a month, and I'm sure it's something we'll have great fun with. I "lovingly ripped off" the idea from a new blog that I've just started reading which I highly recommend called Silly Pipe Dreams. It's under my 'Blogs of Interest' so you can check it out there. Anyways, this is how the game goes. I press play randomly on my iTunes and it starts. Every song that comes up I'll talk a little bit about, but there will only be ten songs. Nothing gets skipped, no matter how odd or embarrassing. So here it goes....
1. I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever) - Stevie Wonder
One of the most underrated Stevie Wonder songs of all time. And one of the most romantic he's ever written. Thank you High Fidelity for introducing me to it and so many other great songs.
2. Good Woman - Cat Power
Honestly, I never truly listened to this song before now. But I love it, it's so simple. Definitely one of her best.
3. Hurt - Christina Aguilera
This is such a depressing song. Seriously... And the fact that it's really about her father? So so so very sad. But Christina's amazing and I love her.
4. Two Days Later/Daddy's Girl - The York Theatre Cast of I Sing!
Leslie Kritzer is fierce....period. And this show only showcases how much that statement is true. Like, it's cold hard fact. There's no arguing it.
5. Promises - Kylie Minogue
Yes, I listen to Kylie Minogue....she's good to work out to. And kind of fun to dance around to when you're alone in your room.
6. Everything I Am - Kanye West
I love Kanye. He may be a little crazy, he might be extremely conceited, but he's ridiculously talented. This whole album is proof of that. He isn't like the other "rappers" today. And that is part of what makes him so great.
7. Come Out Of The Dumpster - The Original Broadway Cast of The Wedding Singer
I know....it's a guilty pleasure, leave me alone.
8. Falling Awake - Gary Jules
Gary Jules is wonderfully odd. His lyrics are so weird but so pretty. I don't get it. But I do know that this is better than his cover of Tears for Fears' "Mad World". Don't get me wrong, I love that song, especially that cover, but the rest of his stuff tends to get overlooked. And this isn't a song that should ever get overlooked.
9. Perfect - Alanis Morrisette
One of the most depressing songs ever. The thing is, it's something everyone experiences. That pressure that keeps mounting on your back to be perfect. It sucks, I know. So when you're feeling that pressure, that weight of the world on your back, give this song a listen. Alanis understands.
10. The Brady Bunch Theme Song - The Brady Bunch
I always get called Marsha....I'm not kidding.
1. I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever) - Stevie Wonder
One of the most underrated Stevie Wonder songs of all time. And one of the most romantic he's ever written. Thank you High Fidelity for introducing me to it and so many other great songs.
2. Good Woman - Cat Power
Honestly, I never truly listened to this song before now. But I love it, it's so simple. Definitely one of her best.
3. Hurt - Christina Aguilera
This is such a depressing song. Seriously... And the fact that it's really about her father? So so so very sad. But Christina's amazing and I love her.
4. Two Days Later/Daddy's Girl - The York Theatre Cast of I Sing!
Leslie Kritzer is fierce....period. And this show only showcases how much that statement is true. Like, it's cold hard fact. There's no arguing it.
5. Promises - Kylie Minogue
Yes, I listen to Kylie Minogue....she's good to work out to. And kind of fun to dance around to when you're alone in your room.
6. Everything I Am - Kanye West
I love Kanye. He may be a little crazy, he might be extremely conceited, but he's ridiculously talented. This whole album is proof of that. He isn't like the other "rappers" today. And that is part of what makes him so great.
7. Come Out Of The Dumpster - The Original Broadway Cast of The Wedding Singer
I know....it's a guilty pleasure, leave me alone.
8. Falling Awake - Gary Jules
Gary Jules is wonderfully odd. His lyrics are so weird but so pretty. I don't get it. But I do know that this is better than his cover of Tears for Fears' "Mad World". Don't get me wrong, I love that song, especially that cover, but the rest of his stuff tends to get overlooked. And this isn't a song that should ever get overlooked.
9. Perfect - Alanis Morrisette
One of the most depressing songs ever. The thing is, it's something everyone experiences. That pressure that keeps mounting on your back to be perfect. It sucks, I know. So when you're feeling that pressure, that weight of the world on your back, give this song a listen. Alanis understands.
10. The Brady Bunch Theme Song - The Brady Bunch
I always get called Marsha....I'm not kidding.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Nostalgia, Repression, and How Exactly They Go Together
I should be working on an English paper right now, but I feel like unless I write how I'm feeling I'll never get it done. But how is that? How am I feeling?
I don't know, I just don't.
I had to do this thing for acting a week or so ago and it got me thinking about the past again. Something I'd rather not do. I mean, why would anyone want to dwell on the past when they've got the present to deal with? Anyway, the assignment was to create a ten minute auto drama, a performance about you and your life. Honestly, I don't like getting into my personal matters with complete strangers which is one of the reasons I want to be an actor. Because you can let out all of your emotions, but you're doing it as someone else so nobody has to know your personal issues. Also, I didn't like this assignment because I haven't exactly had the most exciting life. I had a nice, normal childhood. I was a relatively happy kid. Middle school blew and high school blew just as much, particularly senior year, but what about that is anyone's business? Yes I had shitty friends, yes I was treated horribly by peers and teachers alike, but why do I need to tell everyone every single detail?
My life is my life for a reason. It's nobody else's business unless I choose to make it that. I know you're all probably thinking, "Then why the hell do you write an internet blog?" Well your answer is simple. Because I want to. I write my thoughts, but most definitely not my deepest darkest thoughts. And I don't write any names for a reason. To keep it private. But back on topic...
What did I even do for my auto drama?
Well, I talked a bit about my boring childhood, a little about how I had no real friends growing up once I hit the sixth grade, talked about a few of my many identity crises, then I brought up PGSA. I'm starting to think that everything comes back to that. And I truly do not know why. The saddest part is the fact that I really only talk to one person from those five wonderful weeks anymore....and it's only because we have a very similar class schedule and live across the hall from each other. But other than that? Maybe a "hey how's everything?" text or facebook message on occasion, but other than that nothing. Absolutely nothing. I never thought it would come to this, but it has unfortunately done just that.
I thought I'd be friends with these people for life. And I mean real friends, not just those people you talk to maybe three times a year and say you're friends. I guess I was wrong, I guess our bond wasn't as tight as I had assumed. Maybe if I get the chance to be an ATTRA in three years our bonds will rekindle and we'll have those lasting friendships we all expected, but until then what? We might meet up once a year? Possibly twice if we're lucky enough. That's not good enough for me, but of course I have no money or form of transportation so I can't initiate the meetings. But for those of you who are constantly traveling to see each other, or those of you who are in Pittsburgh right now, why not make the effort to visit your very own Point Park govies? I've been ignored enough in life, I don't want to have to experience it any more.
Believe - The Bravery
Between the Lines - Sara Bareilles
P.S. Congrats Tina Fey and 30 Rock on all your Emmy's!!!
I don't know, I just don't.
I had to do this thing for acting a week or so ago and it got me thinking about the past again. Something I'd rather not do. I mean, why would anyone want to dwell on the past when they've got the present to deal with? Anyway, the assignment was to create a ten minute auto drama, a performance about you and your life. Honestly, I don't like getting into my personal matters with complete strangers which is one of the reasons I want to be an actor. Because you can let out all of your emotions, but you're doing it as someone else so nobody has to know your personal issues. Also, I didn't like this assignment because I haven't exactly had the most exciting life. I had a nice, normal childhood. I was a relatively happy kid. Middle school blew and high school blew just as much, particularly senior year, but what about that is anyone's business? Yes I had shitty friends, yes I was treated horribly by peers and teachers alike, but why do I need to tell everyone every single detail?
My life is my life for a reason. It's nobody else's business unless I choose to make it that. I know you're all probably thinking, "Then why the hell do you write an internet blog?" Well your answer is simple. Because I want to. I write my thoughts, but most definitely not my deepest darkest thoughts. And I don't write any names for a reason. To keep it private. But back on topic...
What did I even do for my auto drama?
Well, I talked a bit about my boring childhood, a little about how I had no real friends growing up once I hit the sixth grade, talked about a few of my many identity crises, then I brought up PGSA. I'm starting to think that everything comes back to that. And I truly do not know why. The saddest part is the fact that I really only talk to one person from those five wonderful weeks anymore....and it's only because we have a very similar class schedule and live across the hall from each other. But other than that? Maybe a "hey how's everything?" text or facebook message on occasion, but other than that nothing. Absolutely nothing. I never thought it would come to this, but it has unfortunately done just that.
I thought I'd be friends with these people for life. And I mean real friends, not just those people you talk to maybe three times a year and say you're friends. I guess I was wrong, I guess our bond wasn't as tight as I had assumed. Maybe if I get the chance to be an ATTRA in three years our bonds will rekindle and we'll have those lasting friendships we all expected, but until then what? We might meet up once a year? Possibly twice if we're lucky enough. That's not good enough for me, but of course I have no money or form of transportation so I can't initiate the meetings. But for those of you who are constantly traveling to see each other, or those of you who are in Pittsburgh right now, why not make the effort to visit your very own Point Park govies? I've been ignored enough in life, I don't want to have to experience it any more.
Believe - The Bravery
Between the Lines - Sara Bareilles
P.S. Congrats Tina Fey and 30 Rock on all your Emmy's!!!
Monday, September 15, 2008
You Could Drive A Person Crazy
Seriously though.....
I'm finally here and I am loving it. Point Park is a great place and I'm having a great time. It's been three weeks with change since I moved and I feel so much better here. The people are great too, really...with a few exceptions like most places. Really I can only think of two and it's sad because they both could have lots of friends, but they're constantly rubbing people the wrong way which isn't exactly the best thing to do in the world, especially at college. Classes are pretty good....some are fun but I'm not really learning anything, but there are things like Make-Up and Voice and Speech that I love. Then there's things like English which I'm learning nothing from. And of course Singing for Actors where my professor hates me and I'm never going to learn anything because she's teaching us as if we're five year olds back in music class. Movement is fun, but I feel like Vlad taught me everything I'm learning in here already. Then there's Acting...how to explain that. I really don't know what to think at the moment. We're only playing acting games so far, except for the auto dramas. I'll give it time...we'll see.
It's funny to hear these people say how much they miss home though. I can't honestly say that I miss home at all. Not even my room. And as for people...I don't even know. The only person I can really think of when I say I miss someone is a person I haven't seen for months. We don't even talk anymore. I don't know what happened, but we lost touch completely. It makes me really sad to think about it, but it happens I guess. It blows, but it's life and I have to learn to deal with it. Will we see each other again? I hope so, but I don't know. Maybe we won't, but I guess I have to think of it in a positive way that at least we got to spend the time we did together. And I hope I touched their life like they touched mine. Honestly.
There's someone here though, and usually super positive people drive me crazy, but she is always looking on the bright side, she's always there to be a friend to someone no matter what they do. She forgives so easily and it amazes me. Really, I think we could all learn a little something from her...I think I could learn something from her. And hopefully I do, hopefully some of her rubs off on me so I can stop being such a cynical bitch all the time. It would be a nice change of pace for me.
You Could Drive A Person Crazy - Kelly Jeanne Grant, Elizabeth Stanley, and Angel Desai
The Nicest Thing - Kate Nash
Not A Love Story - Lisa Howard
I'm finally here and I am loving it. Point Park is a great place and I'm having a great time. It's been three weeks with change since I moved and I feel so much better here. The people are great too, really...with a few exceptions like most places. Really I can only think of two and it's sad because they both could have lots of friends, but they're constantly rubbing people the wrong way which isn't exactly the best thing to do in the world, especially at college. Classes are pretty good....some are fun but I'm not really learning anything, but there are things like Make-Up and Voice and Speech that I love. Then there's things like English which I'm learning nothing from. And of course Singing for Actors where my professor hates me and I'm never going to learn anything because she's teaching us as if we're five year olds back in music class. Movement is fun, but I feel like Vlad taught me everything I'm learning in here already. Then there's Acting...how to explain that. I really don't know what to think at the moment. We're only playing acting games so far, except for the auto dramas. I'll give it time...we'll see.
It's funny to hear these people say how much they miss home though. I can't honestly say that I miss home at all. Not even my room. And as for people...I don't even know. The only person I can really think of when I say I miss someone is a person I haven't seen for months. We don't even talk anymore. I don't know what happened, but we lost touch completely. It makes me really sad to think about it, but it happens I guess. It blows, but it's life and I have to learn to deal with it. Will we see each other again? I hope so, but I don't know. Maybe we won't, but I guess I have to think of it in a positive way that at least we got to spend the time we did together. And I hope I touched their life like they touched mine. Honestly.
There's someone here though, and usually super positive people drive me crazy, but she is always looking on the bright side, she's always there to be a friend to someone no matter what they do. She forgives so easily and it amazes me. Really, I think we could all learn a little something from her...I think I could learn something from her. And hopefully I do, hopefully some of her rubs off on me so I can stop being such a cynical bitch all the time. It would be a nice change of pace for me.
You Could Drive A Person Crazy - Kelly Jeanne Grant, Elizabeth Stanley, and Angel Desai
The Nicest Thing - Kate Nash
Not A Love Story - Lisa Howard
Friday, August 8, 2008
Journals, Memories and Regrets
I'm a person of few regrets. I make my decisions and I stick by them. Obviously there's a reason that I chose the path I did, but the one thing I wish I had done; keep a journal, a real journal. Specifically at Gov. School. Last night, after writing the previous entry, I found an old shoe box under my bed. When I opened it, I was welcomed by every last piece of physical evidence from Gov. School. And on top was the journal given to us by our wonderful teachers on the very first day of class. It was just a plain spiral bound notebook, but inside could be anything we wanted. I opened it and on the very first page it said, and I quote;
Do you want to know what comes after that?
Absolutely nothing. I wish that something had come afterwards. Even if it was just talking about what we did in class. But it would have been great if I had written down all my feelings and everything that happened. I remember watching others write in their journals and wondering why they were writing when they could be doing. They were writing because they would remember things they were doing. Most of the little things that made the experience so wonderful have escaped my memory despite how hard I tried to keep them in. I'll never forget though, there were two instances where I knew I should have kept a journal, but it was too late.
The first time was during the last interdepartmental. The "clowns" had finished their part and for the most part had changed and went upstairs to watch the rest of the show. But myself, Max, and Mollie Book stayed downstairs just talking. We talked about school, performing, the usual. But then Max took out his journal, the one from his experience(now five years ago). He read several excerpts to us and I noticed that these memories that he had recorded and made official, I'd never have those because I hadn't taken five minutes out of my day to just write.
Then there was the last day. It was late and the final govie dance was well in progress. I was sitting in Garvey Park at a bench. People had been coming and going. At one point it had been me, Jenny, Chanelle, Tommy, and Tim joking while Tommy ate Chanelle's cottage cheese and beef jerkey. But the moment I'm talking about was just me and Max again on a bench. We were talking about the end, how it was when he had to leave this very place just four years ago, how it would be the next day, and most importantly, how to deal with all of it. That's when he took out his journal and read his latest entry to me. It was just one long stream of consciousness, but it made more sense than so many things I had heard before.
Unfortunately I can't go back and record every second like I wish I had, but at least I have what I do. In three years, when I'm back again as an ATTRA(and I know I will be back), I will have a journal, I promise myself I will. And those kids will have the same experience I had. They will love every second of every day there just like I did. And that, I will make sure to record.
Just now, when I was trying to decide what song I wanted to end this entry with I stumbled upon an article that was called 'Ten Songs That Bring Back Memories(And Why)'. So due to the nostalgia I've been experiencing over the past few days I figured that would be the way to end this entry.
Movement
-So this is a pretty cool group. The exercise we did was fun and exciting, but relaxing. It's fun
Do you want to know what comes after that?
Absolutely nothing. I wish that something had come afterwards. Even if it was just talking about what we did in class. But it would have been great if I had written down all my feelings and everything that happened. I remember watching others write in their journals and wondering why they were writing when they could be doing. They were writing because they would remember things they were doing. Most of the little things that made the experience so wonderful have escaped my memory despite how hard I tried to keep them in. I'll never forget though, there were two instances where I knew I should have kept a journal, but it was too late.
The first time was during the last interdepartmental. The "clowns" had finished their part and for the most part had changed and went upstairs to watch the rest of the show. But myself, Max, and Mollie Book stayed downstairs just talking. We talked about school, performing, the usual. But then Max took out his journal, the one from his experience(now five years ago). He read several excerpts to us and I noticed that these memories that he had recorded and made official, I'd never have those because I hadn't taken five minutes out of my day to just write.
Then there was the last day. It was late and the final govie dance was well in progress. I was sitting in Garvey Park at a bench. People had been coming and going. At one point it had been me, Jenny, Chanelle, Tommy, and Tim joking while Tommy ate Chanelle's cottage cheese and beef jerkey. But the moment I'm talking about was just me and Max again on a bench. We were talking about the end, how it was when he had to leave this very place just four years ago, how it would be the next day, and most importantly, how to deal with all of it. That's when he took out his journal and read his latest entry to me. It was just one long stream of consciousness, but it made more sense than so many things I had heard before.
Unfortunately I can't go back and record every second like I wish I had, but at least I have what I do. In three years, when I'm back again as an ATTRA(and I know I will be back), I will have a journal, I promise myself I will. And those kids will have the same experience I had. They will love every second of every day there just like I did. And that, I will make sure to record.
Just now, when I was trying to decide what song I wanted to end this entry with I stumbled upon an article that was called 'Ten Songs That Bring Back Memories(And Why)'. So due to the nostalgia I've been experiencing over the past few days I figured that would be the way to end this entry.
1. Farewell to the Old Me - Dar Williams: My Sophomore/Junior years I went through some big changes and lost some good friends much to my dismay, but this song got me through those times. It means a lot to me.
2. Tiny Dancer - Elton John: Never will I forget the first time I saw Cameron Crowe's Almost Famous. That movie changed me and my way of thinking. It was beautiful and to this day it remains my favorite movie.
3. Beauty and the Beast - Beth Fowler: Not only was this my favorite Disney movie growing up, but it was my very first Broadway show. I'll never forget, I was in sixth grade and it was about a month after 9/11. We were in the true definition of nose bleed seats and I thought I was going to fall out of my seat and die. But when the curtain went up, everything was okay. I was somewhere else, and I was happy. I was where I was eventually going to end up.
4. Martha My Dear - The Beatles: When I was little my parents used to tell me that I was named after this song which is about Paul McCartney's sheepdog, Martha. I thought it was fascinating and the fact that the song was about a dog only made in ten times better. Sometime in middle school I found out that the real reason I have the name I do is because it means sister of Mary and my sister's name is Mary Katherine, but I stick to the first story.
5. A Whole New World - Brad Kane and Lea Salonga: Gov. School, enough said.
6. How to Return Home - written by Kait Kerrigan and Brian Lowdermilk, performed by Laura Osnes: This song is how I felt when I came back after Gov. School and I am most certain it's how I'll feel when I come back from college.
7. We Get On - Kate Nash: Too many times to count.
8. Fee - Phish: My first taste of real music outside of The Beatles, Eric Clapton, and Billy Joel. I listened, mostly, to things like N'Sync, S Club 7, LFO, and The Spice Girls when I was little. But when my sister went to college and found herself listening to bands much like Phish, moe., etc. I began to listen to them too. This is the first song she ever had me listen to and I loved it. I used to go around singing "Oh Fee, babababaababa, banana tree" because I had no clue what the lyrics were.
9. A New Argentina - Patti LuPone: My first taste of Patti and I haven't gone back since.
10. Pop - N'Sync: Track one on their third and final album was also (part of) the name for their second to last tour, Pop Odessey. The only N'Sync concert I ever went to. But I know, if NKOTB made a comeback so will N'Sync and I promise you, I will be front row.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Govie Lovers, Sittin' There On The Bench
Today I had a thought. What if I... what if I had never met you? - Carrie Bradshaw
What if I had never met you? For those of you who are govies out there, most of you know that I was an alternate. What if I hadn't gotten that call the Tuesday before we were supposed to move up to Erie for those five wonderful weeks?
I've been thinking lately, how this past year I have taken these wonderful relationships and memories for granted. Why, I don't know. But somehow deep down, I know I have. And that thought kills me. Am I going to see most of you ever again? Those people who agreed that they'd never lose touch, well, did they? I know I've come up short on my end of the bargain with all but a select few people.
And for that I want to say I'm sorry. I am so so very sorry. And for those of you whose places of residence I visited, yet never called you to say I was even thinking about you I want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not trying to keep up with everyone's lives. I'm sorry for not letting you all know exactly how much you really mean to me (which, for clarification, is a hell of a lot).
If I hadn't had the chance to get to know and love you all, where would I be now? Most certainly not where I am. I wouldn't be the person I am. I wouldn't have the wonderful memories that I have. But most of all, I wouldn't have you. I can't imagine what life would be like without Gov. School and I don't want to. Yes, this sounds melodramatic, but who really cares? That experience changed my life and I'll never be the same because of it. This entry can be summed up in two words really...
Thank you. Thank you for everything. Honestly, I don't know if I'm ever going to get to say this to 93% of you in person so I just wanted you to know now. Sure, most of you probably won't even ever read this, but just in case...if one random day you happen to look on this site and browse through my blogs then stumble upon this one, at least it says it here.
Remember kids, Doug Woods is God
And just for you guys, I'll throw in a couple of extra doodily-doos;
Song of the Gods - Chris Kamenstein
Hey Jude - The Beatles
But most importantly, how could we forget...
A Whole New World - Brad Kane and Lea Salonga
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Now/Later/Soon
Soon,
Later...
Now, I promise.
When is later?
As the sweet imbecilities
Soon,
All you ever hear is
Trip on my trouser leg, I won't shy away,
"Yes, we know, Henrik, Stendhal elimanates
A... Oh, Henrik,
Dear old--
Everyone agrees, Henrik, please, Henrik..."
Soon,
As I've I want to.
Often stated,
Soon,
Whatever you say.
When? But when?
Even now,
Maybe
Maybe
When you're close
Soon, soon,
Later,
And we touch, I'll be ninety
When I'm kissing your brow
And you're kissing
And dead.
My brow
And I'm stroking your head, I don't mind it
I don't mind it
Too much.
Too much.
You'll come into my bed.
And you'll have to
Since I have to
And you have to
Admit
Admit
Admit I'm endearing, I find peering
I've been hearing
I help
Through life's
All those tremulous cries,
Keep things humming,
Grey windows
Impatiently
Patiently
I'm not
Not
Not Domineering--
Very cheering.
Interfering
What's one
Do I fear death?
With those tremulous thighs.
Small shortcoming?
Let it come to me
Come to me
And think of
Now,
Soon,
How I adore you,
Think of
Now,
Soon,
How much you love me.
If I were perfect
Now,
Soon,
For you,
Wouldn't you
Now...
Soon...
Tire of me
Later?
Come to me soon,
Come to me soon,
We will,
If I'm dead
Straight to me,
Later.
I can wait.
Never mind how.
We will,
How can I live
Darling, now--
Soon...
Until later?
I still want and/or
Later...
Love you,
Soon...
Later...
Now as always,
Now... Desiree!
How is it that I've always overlooked this? Me, the self-proclaimed Sondheim freak. I love him, really I do(despite The Frogs and Pacific Overtures...and yes, I do love Bounce---shut up.) But I've never really paid much attention to A Little Night Music because I never really took to Send in the Clowns so I assumed the rest was like that. I do like the song, but not enough to invest my interest in the rest of the show, but man was I wrong. This show is so beautiful. One day I will play Anne, I swear. And the main reason I want to is because of the song above/the song below(yes, same song.) It's so beautiful. The entire show is. Just give it a listen and you will not be disappointed, I promise.
Now/Later/Soon
...I'm serious, listen to it...
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Oh My God It's Sandra Bernhard
Question...
Since when does Sandra Bernhard have any status as a fashion icon? Don't get me wrong, I loves me some Project Runway and Sandra Bernhard, but together?
I think not
Project Runway is probably my favorite show that's been on in a looooooong time. But they don't ever pick good celebs for challenges. Natalie Portman? She's adorable, not a fashion icon. Victoria Beckham, Parker Posey, Debra Messing? Love them all, not fashion icons. Now Sarah Jessica Parker? There is a fashion icon. Glad to know they've made one good decision.
Usually after the first episode I have my favorites and I stick to them, as a loyal fan should
Season 1: Austin Scarlett and Jay McCarroll
Season 2: Santino Rice, Daniel Vosovic, and Andre Gonzalo
Season 3: Kayne Gillaspie, Bradley Baumkirchner(he may not know who Cher is, but I love him), and Laura Bennett
Season 4: Jack Mackenroth, Kevin Christiana, and Jillian Lewis
Season 5: ---
Notice anything different? That's right, I can't choose a favorite. Not in the least. At first I was like, "I love Kenley and Wesley" then Wesley left, but that's not what I was going for. Tonight, I grew an appreciation for Daniel. And lastly, in Wesley's final episode I realized that I also had a newfound respect/love for Blayne. First episode I hated him and I hated the tan. His skin is like leather people. Anyways, I do love most of his designs, but I cannot express how much I love him for his hatred for Stella. SHE NEEDS TO GO! He seems to be the only one who understands that. Oh, and I love Suede too but he needs to stop with the third person. Now I really need to narrow it down, my favorites are almost half the cast. No matter what my decision, I am a firm believer that no season will ever be as good as season 2.
And guess what?
TOP DESIGN IS RETURNING!
Blow You Kisses - Santino Rice
Santino Rice FTW guys! Nobody can beat Santino. Deal with it.
Since when does Sandra Bernhard have any status as a fashion icon? Don't get me wrong, I loves me some Project Runway and Sandra Bernhard, but together?
I think not
Project Runway is probably my favorite show that's been on in a looooooong time. But they don't ever pick good celebs for challenges. Natalie Portman? She's adorable, not a fashion icon. Victoria Beckham, Parker Posey, Debra Messing? Love them all, not fashion icons. Now Sarah Jessica Parker? There is a fashion icon. Glad to know they've made one good decision.
Usually after the first episode I have my favorites and I stick to them, as a loyal fan should
Season 1: Austin Scarlett and Jay McCarroll
Season 2: Santino Rice, Daniel Vosovic, and Andre Gonzalo
Season 3: Kayne Gillaspie, Bradley Baumkirchner(he may not know who Cher is, but I love him), and Laura Bennett
Season 4: Jack Mackenroth, Kevin Christiana, and Jillian Lewis
Season 5: ---
Notice anything different? That's right, I can't choose a favorite. Not in the least. At first I was like, "I love Kenley and Wesley" then Wesley left, but that's not what I was going for. Tonight, I grew an appreciation for Daniel. And lastly, in Wesley's final episode I realized that I also had a newfound respect/love for Blayne. First episode I hated him and I hated the tan. His skin is like leather people. Anyways, I do love most of his designs, but I cannot express how much I love him for his hatred for Stella. SHE NEEDS TO GO! He seems to be the only one who understands that. Oh, and I love Suede too but he needs to stop with the third person. Now I really need to narrow it down, my favorites are almost half the cast. No matter what my decision, I am a firm believer that no season will ever be as good as season 2.
And guess what?
TOP DESIGN IS RETURNING!
Blow You Kisses - Santino Rice
Santino Rice FTW guys! Nobody can beat Santino. Deal with it.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
What's the Point...If You're Not Having Fun?
So I've come to a realization finally.
Is anything really worth doing if you don't have a good time doing it? I think not. There are definitely some things in life I'd go back and just ignore doing because I was miserable doing them. Some were shows, some were going to dances, some were hanging out one place when I really wanted to be another. Honestly, shouldn't we all be having the "time of our lives" at this age? I'm one that's lucky enough to be going into a field that I find fun almost always, and hopefully I'll be successful there. But my point is, forget about feeling like you have to do something or be somewhere. Unless you are actually required to do it, don't. Have a good time and live life.
Oh, and if you are required to then find a way to make it fun. It goes by easier that way. Like I wrote a little bit ago. That temp job is like work hell for me. But I listen to my iPod, and go into the filing room while nobody else is there (I am doing work) but I sing and dance around. It makes things so much easier.
Really though, life is too short and you never know when you might get a curveball thrown at you so enjoy it while you can. As Bert V. Royal wrote in possibly my favorite play of all time, Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead, "Don't concern yourself with death. Immerse yourself in life. Enjoy every moment that you're allowed to but keep asking questions. My dear friend. Don't ever stop asking questions."
Have fun and remember, immerse yourself in life and don't ever stop asking questions.
The song for today is a song that the first time I heard I hated. I thought "Is she trying to be Amy Winehouse/Lily Allen/etc.?" But the more I heard it the more I loved it. It really is a good song and I happen to think that the rest of her album is awesome too so go give it a listen as well.
Mercy - Duffy
Is anything really worth doing if you don't have a good time doing it? I think not. There are definitely some things in life I'd go back and just ignore doing because I was miserable doing them. Some were shows, some were going to dances, some were hanging out one place when I really wanted to be another. Honestly, shouldn't we all be having the "time of our lives" at this age? I'm one that's lucky enough to be going into a field that I find fun almost always, and hopefully I'll be successful there. But my point is, forget about feeling like you have to do something or be somewhere. Unless you are actually required to do it, don't. Have a good time and live life.
Oh, and if you are required to then find a way to make it fun. It goes by easier that way. Like I wrote a little bit ago. That temp job is like work hell for me. But I listen to my iPod, and go into the filing room while nobody else is there (I am doing work) but I sing and dance around. It makes things so much easier.
Really though, life is too short and you never know when you might get a curveball thrown at you so enjoy it while you can. As Bert V. Royal wrote in possibly my favorite play of all time, Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead, "Don't concern yourself with death. Immerse yourself in life. Enjoy every moment that you're allowed to but keep asking questions. My dear friend. Don't ever stop asking questions."
Have fun and remember, immerse yourself in life and don't ever stop asking questions.
The song for today is a song that the first time I heard I hated. I thought "Is she trying to be Amy Winehouse/Lily Allen/etc.?" But the more I heard it the more I loved it. It really is a good song and I happen to think that the rest of her album is awesome too so go give it a listen as well.
Mercy - Duffy
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Is Anyone Up There?
I've never considered myself a religious person, but I have always believed that there is someone up there watching over all existence....
Except on days like today. This is only the second time I've ever doubted the idea of a God. I just *and I literally mean just* found out that a friend of mine who I have known for about seven years now is in the ER at Hershey Medical Center with a broken neck...and he might be paralyzed from the neck down. It infuriates me to hear these kind of things. This friend? He is, honest to God, the nicest person I have ever encountered in my entire life. He always looks at the positive side of every situation and he gets so excited by little things: like Mondo Juice for example. He loves those things. But what gets me so angry is that these things seem to only happen to the good people. The worst people in the world seem to get the chance to live long and happy, healthy lives. The good people though? It's like this "God" is saying "Screw you, only the strong survive on my planet." If there really is a God, why does (he/she, pick your pronoun) let things like this happen? Aren't they supposed to be protecting their "children"?
I'm going to stop with the belief rant, but I have a favor to ask of everyone who reads this. Please, keep him in your thoughts. Wish upon a star for him, think about him in your 'moment of silence', pray for him, I don't care. Just please, have hope.
This one's for him...
Except on days like today. This is only the second time I've ever doubted the idea of a God. I just *and I literally mean just* found out that a friend of mine who I have known for about seven years now is in the ER at Hershey Medical Center with a broken neck...and he might be paralyzed from the neck down. It infuriates me to hear these kind of things. This friend? He is, honest to God, the nicest person I have ever encountered in my entire life. He always looks at the positive side of every situation and he gets so excited by little things: like Mondo Juice for example. He loves those things. But what gets me so angry is that these things seem to only happen to the good people. The worst people in the world seem to get the chance to live long and happy, healthy lives. The good people though? It's like this "God" is saying "Screw you, only the strong survive on my planet." If there really is a God, why does (he/she, pick your pronoun) let things like this happen? Aren't they supposed to be protecting their "children"?
I'm going to stop with the belief rant, but I have a favor to ask of everyone who reads this. Please, keep him in your thoughts. Wish upon a star for him, think about him in your 'moment of silence', pray for him, I don't care. Just please, have hope.
This one's for him...
Friday, June 27, 2008
Dunder Mifflin Paper Company
For you The Office fans, remember when the series started and BJ Novak was still Ryan the Temp, not Ryan the jerk? Well, he was always miserable as the temp and I now know why. After July 17th/18th? I am never doing temp work ever again. EVER. It is the most monotanous, boring, lifeless job you could ever think of...
That isn't an exaggeration. Plus, I have to work from 8:30-5:30 thus having no actual life. What joy!
Enjoy and please tell me how to survive these next couple weeks.
That isn't an exaggeration. Plus, I have to work from 8:30-5:30 thus having no actual life. What joy!
Enjoy and please tell me how to survive these next couple weeks.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
I Need Parsley....
I'm in a very Wet Hot American Summer mood today, so guess what that means?!?!? Video and song!!! Yay! Twice in a row. Yeah, I know it's exciting, but let us move on.
Right now I am loving me some bad T.V. Take Legally Blonde: The Search for Elle Woods for example. It's a piece of shit, it's so so very fake, the girls all blow and could never handle eight shows a week as the lead in any show, yet I find myself strangely fascinated by it. I seriously have not missed one episode yet. I eve watch re-runs :yikes!:. So my point is, what draws people like us to these shows? If we know that the quality blows and we know the premise is lame, then why do we keep watching? Is it because we secretly love to be bitchy and complain about the people on these shows? I'm going to have to say yes there. That has to be the answer because if not, are we simply just that easy to please? Now don't get me wrong, there are some quality reality T.V. shows out there. Take Bravo for example now. This network seems to be the only one that can produce a reality show people aren't ashamed to say they watch. I have not missed one episode of Project Runway in all four seasons. When Top Design was on, I saw every second. And though it's not a personal favorite of mine, Top Chef is pretty damn good too. If we have these options, why do shows like Tila Tequila: A Shot At Love 2 get all the publicity? Because they are stunt shows. Shows that are planned out for us to be drawn in as if we were watching a bad car accident. I admit, I was an avid fan of Shot at Love season one, but where can you go from a show like that? Who cares if you "find love" because if you gave your last relationship with someone you were "in love with" that small of a chance just so you could get more air time, then you obviously don't really want to find love. MTV's one reality television show that I have loved every season and stayed loyal to is The Real World vs. Road Rules Challenge. Whether it be The Gauntlet, The Inferno, Fresh Meat, whatever, it is quality entertainment. I mean talk about getting everything in one show. Action, drama, romance, retards (for you other fans, yes I am talking about Evan and Kenny both of whom I am in love with). What more could you want? Anyways, I'm going to give this topic a rest, but I'd love it if you'd comment. That's what these kinds of posts are here for....a sort of discussion forum. Have at it.
Higher and Higher - Theodore Shapiro and Craig Wedren (Wet Hot American Summer)
Right now I am loving me some bad T.V. Take Legally Blonde: The Search for Elle Woods for example. It's a piece of shit, it's so so very fake, the girls all blow and could never handle eight shows a week as the lead in any show, yet I find myself strangely fascinated by it. I seriously have not missed one episode yet. I eve watch re-runs :yikes!:. So my point is, what draws people like us to these shows? If we know that the quality blows and we know the premise is lame, then why do we keep watching? Is it because we secretly love to be bitchy and complain about the people on these shows? I'm going to have to say yes there. That has to be the answer because if not, are we simply just that easy to please? Now don't get me wrong, there are some quality reality T.V. shows out there. Take Bravo for example now. This network seems to be the only one that can produce a reality show people aren't ashamed to say they watch. I have not missed one episode of Project Runway in all four seasons. When Top Design was on, I saw every second. And though it's not a personal favorite of mine, Top Chef is pretty damn good too. If we have these options, why do shows like Tila Tequila: A Shot At Love 2 get all the publicity? Because they are stunt shows. Shows that are planned out for us to be drawn in as if we were watching a bad car accident. I admit, I was an avid fan of Shot at Love season one, but where can you go from a show like that? Who cares if you "find love" because if you gave your last relationship with someone you were "in love with" that small of a chance just so you could get more air time, then you obviously don't really want to find love. MTV's one reality television show that I have loved every season and stayed loyal to is The Real World vs. Road Rules Challenge. Whether it be The Gauntlet, The Inferno, Fresh Meat, whatever, it is quality entertainment. I mean talk about getting everything in one show. Action, drama, romance, retards (for you other fans, yes I am talking about Evan and Kenny both of whom I am in love with). What more could you want? Anyways, I'm going to give this topic a rest, but I'd love it if you'd comment. That's what these kinds of posts are here for....a sort of discussion forum. Have at it.
Higher and Higher - Theodore Shapiro and Craig Wedren (Wet Hot American Summer)
Monday, June 23, 2008
Seriously...where is it?
Okay, so I've decided that I'm starting a blog...obviously. Some days will be just me writing, but some may even a youtube video or a song (exciting, right?)! So before writing about anything, I wanted to explain the Blog title...
#1. I love macaroni and cheese...actually, I just love food.
#2. I love 30 Rock and have realized that in a sad way I am quite a bit like Liz Lemon...watch it, you'll understand
#3. On 30 Rock they speak about how you never mess with Liz's food and then it shows a clip of her screaming "Where's my mac 'n cheese?!?!" and flipping a table over
#4. ...Yes, that is how I would react.
Anyways, I've decided ^that^ is all I'm going to write for now. Later.
Summertime - New Kids On The Block (That's right bitches, I loves me some NKOTB)
OH MY GOD! Both in the same post!
#1. I love macaroni and cheese...actually, I just love food.
#2. I love 30 Rock and have realized that in a sad way I am quite a bit like Liz Lemon...watch it, you'll understand
#3. On 30 Rock they speak about how you never mess with Liz's food and then it shows a clip of her screaming "Where's my mac 'n cheese?!?!" and flipping a table over
#4. ...Yes, that is how I would react.
Anyways, I've decided ^that^ is all I'm going to write for now. Later.
Summertime - New Kids On The Block (That's right bitches, I loves me some NKOTB)
OH MY GOD! Both in the same post!
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